so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
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