his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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