you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Randomize
