THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
There's even glitter on my cock...
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