If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
Randomize