i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
