did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
