this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
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