Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
only you would photoshop your dick
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
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