What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
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