a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
