apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
