i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
too bad you live with your parents still
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize
