I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
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