He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Randomize
