we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
