the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
Randomize
