i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
Randomize
