you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
