I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
