you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
