4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Randomize
