I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
After last night, I could never be a politician.
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Randomize
