I bet he comes in French.
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
I have feelings that need drinking.
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
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