i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
should my penis look like a turkey
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
Randomize
