dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
Randomize
