would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize
