Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
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