My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Randomize