a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
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