It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Randomize
