worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
