The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Randomize
