why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
Randomize
