You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
Randomize
