He passed out mid-signature
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
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