i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
