Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
