Pappa wants mamma naked
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize
