So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
The adults are the big ones right?
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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