I just saw a hot homeless man
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
Holy shit dude........stairs
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Randomize