How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
is it fun? or sober?
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
Randomize