rhymes with "ouble enetration"
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Randomize
