Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
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