Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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