It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
Randomize
