Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Randomize
