just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
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