that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Well I just put wine in my tea
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
Randomize
