I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize
