i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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