Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
