That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize