I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
