i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
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