I'm lost and stupid without you.
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
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