Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
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