ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
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