Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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