This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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