Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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