..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
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