so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize