you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
