I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
Randomize
