time to smoke my breakfast
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
