Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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