I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
