Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
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