I love watching others lives come down to our level.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
Randomize
