Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
Blood and glitter go together right?
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
