i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
