Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
She's the barista slut.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
Randomize
