Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Randomize
