You really coming over, don't trick.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
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