Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
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