we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
