So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
Randomize
