Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
Randomize
