oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
Randomize
