you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
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